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An Asshole’s Guide To Getting Men

Ladies, have you had issues getting laid recently? Maybe the problem isn’t you, maybe it’s your terribly tinged labia.

We all know women aren’t nearly as insecure about their bodies as they should be. To help bring the sensitive sex a little closer to being worthless, wobbling blobs of fear, there is My Pink Button –a temporary genital dye.

I know what you’re thinking, “but is a man really going to judge me if my roast beef curtains aren’t tinged a nice medium rare shade?” And the answer, dear ladies, is yes. If you have a man with his head between your legs, he is certain to bolt up and leave in disgust if your vulva isn’t attractive enough.

So take action. At least it tastes great. Who cares if it burns and the only “dye” effect is actually just a result of irritation? It’s all to impress that important man in your life and if he wanted you to cut off your labia, who are you to say no?

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