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How To Drive Agressively, Without Getting A Foot Up Your…

So you want to go fast and be in charge, but don’t want someone to follow you home and slash your tires? Here’s how:

Step1

Don’t Tail Gate. Seriously, it’s really not that hard. I see people doing this all the time, WHEN THE LANE BESIDE THEM IS EMPTY. What the hell is their problem?!!!!
Anyway, it’s one thing if you’re on a one lane high way and the jerk in front of you is going way under the speed limit and won’t pull off at the turn offs, but otherwise, don’t be a dick.

Step2

When the person in front of you is changing lanes, don’t try to change lanes in the same lane and zip around them.
Hey, way to almost cause an accident dick weed. Note that you see luxury car drivers doing this more than anyone else….what the hell man?

Step3

When to Use Your Signal. If there’s no one in the lane beside you, f- the signal, but if you’re squeezing between two cars, at least let em know you want in before you start pushing your way through.

Step4

Don’t brake for no reason! If the traffic’s going slow, don’t slam the accelerator and then brake every time you move three inches. Believe it or not, that little pedal on the left responds to pressure, many times if you just tap it, you won’t need to slam the brakes a second later…what a concept jackass.

Step5

Don’t zip around twenty lanes of traffic. Fact, if you’re changing lanes over and over, you’re putting much of your speed into the left or right, making it so your forward speed is not nearly as high. We all need to change lanes sometimes, but those of you who keep switching, don’t deny that you keep miraculously seeing the same car next to you no matter what you do.

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3 Comments

  1. Timmy McTimmerson wrote:

    This site sucks, go with your heart and let it die like I see you’re doing already. Has anyone ever clicked one of the thousand stupid little “digg” buttons? I doubt it.

    Saturday, August 30, 2008 at 5:37 am | Permalink
  2. admin wrote:

    Finally, the motivation I needed to keep going. A complete tool complaining about a site that he never had to read in the first place.
    Thank you. I needed this.

    Monday, September 8, 2008 at 7:22 pm | Permalink
  3. font wrote:

    Hmmm, you are the asshole that you claim to be, so that is good. Also, I kinda like your layout. You probably nicked it from somewhere, but I like it nonetheless.
    So how good are you with compliments?

    Friday, February 6, 2009 at 6:12 am | Permalink

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